SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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