i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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