You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
