he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
