i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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