so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
