Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
