hotel room ftw
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize