he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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