Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize