Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
