im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
