I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There r osticjed everywhere
then he tried to convert me to islam
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
