the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
