So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
