make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
