just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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