Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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