Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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