Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you traded sex for a burrito?
vagina is talking i cant
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
wow bdsm is so cute
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