I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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