if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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