i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
