Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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