Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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