Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
