Barsexuality is the new black.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
