And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
