I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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