he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
