I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
