She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
