Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
