I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
