I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
