didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
