: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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