she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm really busy with my period
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