Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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