I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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