I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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