wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
