Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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