dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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