Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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