Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
