Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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