I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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