Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
