hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
