i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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