I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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