I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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