We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
