Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize