Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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