Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
