Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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