Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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