She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
