I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
