I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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