dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
